Miracles

I find many things miraculous: t.v.; internet; airplanes; big trees that grow from small seeds; reproduction; the cyclical nature and delicate balance of our physical world and that it can sustain so many injuries still persist; that someone came up with a recipe for candied bacon ice-cream (www.davidliebovitz.com); that my dog is still loved even though he's such a rascal.  The list goes on and on.

I know that many would argue that none of the above are miracles: indeed, there are explanations for how each work (except perhaps the bacon Ice-cream).  Maybe, but I'm not convinced. I've read descriptions of how television works: it's still a mystery, and therefore a miracle, to me. All these pixels being sent through cable lines or the airwaves and then rearranging themselves in just the right places on our screens. If you get it, my hat's off to you - I'm sticking with the theory that it's a miracle.

There are big miracles and small miracles. That I get dinner on the table most nights regardless of my dog's attempts to snatch it as I'm cooking: small miracle. That I gave birth to Harry after years of infertility and knowing all that could and did go "wrong" to keep me from conceiving, and then suddenly did, big miracle. Seeing Harry's heartbeat when he was an embryo, just a few days old - very big miracle. That he's now 6'2" and driving, ah, you get the idea. 

I don't mean to be flip: I really do think of all these as miracles. Albert Einstein said, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." When I first told Harry this, he was confused: "Which way was right?" he wondered. Upon reflection, I understood his confusion, especially living in this culture, with its emphasis on science. But I am firmly, and more than ever, living as though everything is a miracle. Even with scientific explanations, I think (as did Einstein), that if you keep digging deeper, you get to some very unanswerable questions. Furthermore, I never really "got" science until I realized that all it really does is report observations of "what is" - the ultimate "why" and "how" never really gets answered.  

BTW, Einstein, when asked to describe radio said this, "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is there is no cat."

So, this is yet another long and circuitous way for me to get to my point: Kit and I both had Energy Mirrors sessions this week (it's a form of energy healing). So, this begs the question, why would I consider this as a medical option? It's based on a healer, essentially in an altered state of consciousness, reading your energy field and mirroring it back at you to reorganize your energy field and create healing. Yup, I'd say it's way out there (and I no longer care about that). Why this technique, with this healer?  I dunno. I met Michele last week and after months of reading and thinking about energy healing, but never in that time hearing about Energy Mirrors, I just had a feeling that this was the technique I wanted to try. And that Michele was a good person to try it with. Kit was game.

I had my session on Monday. I told Michele my maladies: sore neck, sore foot, kidneys, cough. I lay back on her reclining chair, covered myself with a blanket, and closed my eyes. At times I felt like a swirl of energy was around my face, or I had heightened sensation in my foot or neck. About an hour later, she cleared her throat. I opened my eyes. "I'm getting that you should come back in five weeks," she said. "And your kidneys are functioning fine. Don't worry about them." That's all she said (well, there was more - we chatted for almost another hour, but none of it related to the session). Michele doesn't like to say too much about it - it's in the realm of energy, not thought.  I'm fine with that. And darned if my neck pain (which I've had for over a year and a half isn't mostly gone - 90% I'd say. My foot's probably 80% or more better (after a month of pain). The cough? Hmm, I think I'm coughing less - I'm certainly noticing it less.  Interestingly, I told Michele about my kidney diagnosis (nephrocalcinosis/hypercalciurea), but not that my kidney function has always been fine.

One more thing, and I don't know if it's related (although many say there are no coincidences, and if that's so, it is). As I was waiting for my appointment, I was looking through the notebook that I keep my medical information in. I came upon the name of a doctor whom I had heard speak on NPR a few years ago. He's a nephrologist in Massachusetts and I was impressed. I'd asked the nephrologist I see in Rochester if he knew of him, thinking if he gave him the thumbs up, I'd switch and save myself the long drive to Rochester each year. He hadn't and I kept trucking out west each fall. This year, my appointment is on a day that I hate to miss (Rensselaer County Cross Country meet, my nephew is coming to visit, the day before Shay goes to Boston for a Bar Mitzvah so he'll need help packing). I really, really don't want to go to Rochester and although I've called a number of times to see if I can change it, there are no appointments until January (and there's only one thing worse than driving from Albany to Rochester and that's doing it in January, when the days are shortest and the weather the worst). In any event, hmm, the name of this doctor written in my notebook rang a bell this time, and the bell it rang was the Kripalu Yoga Center. Turns out he's the medical director there. And will be happy to see me. Why do I think this fits so nicely with this energy healing session? First of all, I think time is squishier and less linear than we believe. I'd have to go through more quantum physics (and my friend Einstein's theories) than I'm prepared to right now to make that case, so I won't. Gentle reader, I don't expect you to take my word for it - but, like the rest of this blog, it's what I believe at this squishy moment of time. So, now I'll have a new doctor - a holistic nephrologist which is outrageously cool as I'm no longer interested in pursuing healthcare based on illness. Now I'm interested in healthcare based on wellness. Doctors don't really know why one person heals and another doesn't and I can write reams on this, but I've kept you here long enough. Suffice to say, that I think there's more we don't know than what we do and I refuse to limit my healthcare to only the commonly known variables.

Kit's work was more to see if she's back on the right track, energy-wise, after her health challenges of the last few months. Michele believes she is. Interestingly, before starting, to show us how the technique works, Michele did some work aloud so we'd be familiar with the process. She came up with, "Kit needs space." "Hah!" I thought, "I could've told her that!" as that's been the theme of Kit's life for months now: "Mom, can I ride my bike alone?" "Mom, can I take Mobley on a really long walk?" Not to mention the very nasty looks I get from my incredibly sweet daughter whenever I stick my nose where it doesn't belong (in her business). "Resonable guess? She's fourteen," you think. I don't think so. I wouldn't pick that phrase for either Harry or Shay at this point although they're also in those teen years.

One last thought (I think). The way I look at life these days is this: my perception is limited. I can only see what I see based on where I am and where I'm looking. I have to change my perception to see more or differently. If I carry a solely scientific perception, I can only see what science has to offer. And century by century (or decade by decade  or even year by year now), as science changes, what we believe changes. So, I am open to energy healing because I just don't believe that we know all we'll ever know about this. 

It's all a miracle. I don't know how it works. I don't even care. I can turn my head without pain for the first time in months, I can walk the dog without hobbling and this is good. Very good. I'll send you off with a question though, one Shay used to ask when he was a toddler. If you know the answer, please let me know - as after all these years, it still has me stumped:

"Where do boo-boos go when they go away? Do they go to Grandpa's car? Do they go into the woods?"

It's a mystery to me.