But...It's 8:00 p.m., I've been awake and busy now since 5:40 a.m. That's....14 hours and 20 minutes. And I've....meditated, made breakfast for 4 and lunch for 4, dinner for 5, vacuumed and cleaned the basement, walked the dog, worked-out, did 3 or 4 laundries, read and sent numerous emails, made a few phone calls, took a few phone calls, met with our painter, took the kids to school, picked up the kids from school, took one kid to a music lesson, helped another with homework, etc., etc., and you'd think it would have made a dent, but the to-do list is as long as ever.
I'm sorry. I'm whining. I know: this is life. I know: the to-do list ends when I die and I'm not ready for that to happen. However, today I realized that this might be one reason I spent so many years procrastinating: nothing ever gets to done, because nothing ever is done. It's disappointing. Like riding a stationary bicycle: you spin the wheels but never go anywhere. We make a mess everyday. We sleep in the bed every night, so there's always a bed to be made in the morning and linens to wash. We wear clothes that get dirty and then have to be cleaned. We get hungry and need food every day, which has to be shopped for, stored, cooked, cleaned-up after. It's a cycle of doing just like the earth turns every day and cycles around the sun every year.
Hmm, so maybe it's time to think that it's wonderful that I have a house to clean over and over and over again, dishes to wash again and again because I'm fortunate to have food to put on the dishes, clothes to clean and even a washer and dryer to use when I clean them! I had a friend years ago who was shocked that I found this taking care of life stuff mind-bogglingly boring. He thought of it as a terrific way to spend time because it kept him alive. Oh. I think I get it now and it only took me twenty some-odd years. (Some-odd, indeed!)
So, if you want to know what I'm doing tomorrow, my to-do list says, "More of the same." And that's okay with me.
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