What I Do

The process I'm using to change myself and my life has been developing over the past nine months. It just struck me that that's how long it takes to make a baby. And just as an embryo is changing all that time, so do I. So, I'm an infant in this new life I'm creating for myself. Wow! I love that!

Last year, just when I needed it, I stumbled upon Elizabeth's Gilbert's charming, wise, and inspirational book Eat, Pray, Love which is a memoir of Gilbert's year traveling to Italy, India, and Indonesia to rebuild her life after divorce. After reading the book, I realized that there were so many things I wanted to do (including figuring out what I wanted to do) but that if I didn't start soon, I'd lose my chance.

Fortunately again, I came upon a newsletter from the American Meditation Institute (www.americanmeditation.org). Meditation was one of those things I'd always meant to do. The meditation taught at AMI (by the wonderful Leonard Perlmutter), is based on yoga, which I'd only done sporadically in my life, even though I enjoyed it. AMI is practically in my backyard. I wasn't looking for signs, but it did sort of seem that this was one ("Proceed at Maximum Speed"). That this was five minutes from home eliminated many of my prior excuses ("ooh, I hate driving in the dark on the highway" whine, whine, whine).

I took Leonard's six week meditation class last summer and a shorter class with him in the fall on Patanjali's yamas and niyamas (practices for living a right life).

I now follow a daily meditation practice: about twenty minutes each morning which includes time where I focus on my breath (which isn't what Leonard teaches for a full meditation, but hey, it's my practice so I get to do what works for me), followed by Dr. Joe's intention work (more on this to come) and reflections on what I'm grateful for, some wishes for peace, and more intentions on how I want to conduct my day (not just my to-do list of tasks, but a to-do list of behaviors). It's a lot for twenty minutes, but I'm waking up at 5:45 a.m. to do this before the kids get up at 6:10, and this is the earliest I've ever consistently woken up in my life. I'd like to say I'll soon be getting up at 4:00 am to do a couple hours of practice, but there's not strong enough coffee out there for that.

At night, I again meditate on my breath and reflect on whether or not I was who I wanted to be and whether or not I lived as I intended to during the day. It's sort of a daily report card.

And, of course, since you really can't change yourself without paying attention to what you're doing in the course of the day (or, if you can, I can't), I try to be mindful as my day goes on about what I'm doing, saying, thinking, and feeling. It's a tall order. As any meditator will tell you, our minds have a mind of their own, they like to go hither and yon without so many darn rules. But it's a very exciting way to live. It may not be jumping out of an airplane, but there's excitement just the same. Living this way means that tomorrow doesn't have to be just like today because I don't have to be just like I am today tomorrow.